I guess that bitch could ride trunk

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: June 5, 2010
gochrisuniverse (9:17:50 PM): i really wanna fuck girl in the middle [of a picture the reader cannot see]
gochrisuniverse (9:17:52 PM): she’s not even like
gochrisuniverse (9:17:53 PM): dope
gochrisuniverse (9:17:57 PM): but i just wanna
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:18:18 PM): i mean
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:18:24 PM): i guess that bitch could ride trunk
gochrisuniverse (9:18:33 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHA
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:18:39 PM): but she’s not sitting in the car or anything
Posted in AIM Conversations, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Throwin’ down the gauntlet

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: June 5, 2010
gochrisuniverse (9:07:59 PM): you know how women can do that pose
gochrisuniverse (9:08:11 PM): they’re on their hands and feet, but arching their back?
gochrisuniverse (9:08:13 PM): like, stomach to the air
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:08:18 PM): mhm
gochrisuniverse (9:09:52 PM): so say she’s doing that
gochrisuniverse (9:09:56 PM): one dude’s fuckin’ her
gochrisuniverse (9:09:59 PM): one dude’s gettin’ a beej
gochrisuniverse (9:10:05 PM): is that then called a london bridge?
gochrisuniverse (9:10:11 PM): or do we say fuck the british
gochrisuniverse (9:10:15 PM): and call it the brooklyn bridge?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:10:24 PM): brooklyn, dawg
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:10:37 PM): europe already got the eiffel tower
gochrisuniverse (9:10:45 PM): true
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:10:48 PM): and that shit is straight up american, this brooklyn bridge
gochrisuniverse (9:11:02 PM): i’m about to shed a tear, it’s so american
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:11:05 PM): those limey faggots aren’t gonna try something so daring
gochrisuniverse (9:11:19 PM): hahahaha
gochrisuniverse (9:11:20 PM): limey!
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:11:33 PM): you know me
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:11:37 PM): throwin’ down the gauntlet
Posted in AIM Conversations, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

44 hours a day

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: June 5, 2010
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:12:45 PM): people need to fucking realize
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:12:46 PM): sometimes
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:12:53 PM): you just don’t wanna fuckin’ do shit
gochrisuniverse (5:13:03 PM): for real
gochrisuniverse (5:13:10 PM): or sometimes plans just don’t work out
gochrisuniverse (5:13:13 PM): get over it
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:13:16 PM): like, it’s not that i don’t wanna see people or whatever
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:13:23 PM): i just wanna fuckin’ chill the fuck out and contemplate
gochrisuniverse (5:13:31 PM): can’t a dude just contemplate?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:13:36 PM): right?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:13:53 PM): like, where the fuck did the law that says, “contemplative ass dudes can contemplate only on their own time”
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:13:54 PM): fuck that
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:13:58 PM): i contemplate when i want to
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:14:07 PM): which is 44/7
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:14:10 PM): that’s right
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:14:11 PM): 44/7
gochrisuniverse (5:14:15 PM): hahahahahaha
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:14:30 PM): i contemplate so fucking hard sometimes i extend a day by 20 fucking hours
Posted in AIM Conversations, Sunsets, 1986, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Straight up racist

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: May 20, 2010
THISPARTYISNSFW (11:18:20 PM): Fuck, take that shit down, lol.
THISPARTYISNSFW (11:18:27 PM): That shit is straight up racist, Chris.
THISPARTYISNSFW (11:18:44 PM): You know how many Asian people are gonna be fucking mad at me?
THISPARTYISNSFW (11:18:49 PM): Billions.
Posted in AIM Conversations, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

The audacity of that continent

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: May 20, 2010
gochrisuniverse (11:12:59 PM): you know who doesn’t do it for me?
THISPARTYISNSFW (11:13:08 PM): Who?
gochrisuniverse (11:13:10 PM): 98% of asian women
THISPARTYISNSFW (11:13:45 PM): God. I know.
THISPARTYISNSFW (11:13:59 PM): They’re seriously so fucking…ugh.
gochrisuniverse (11:14:11 PM): just like, what are you thinking?
gochrisuniverse (11:14:16 PM): when we went to karaoke
gochrisuniverse (11:14:18 PM): it was in koreatown
gochrisuniverse (11:14:21 PM): just a bunch of ‘em
gochrisuniverse (11:14:22 PM): and i was like
gochrisuniverse (11:14:22 PM): okay
gochrisuniverse (11:14:26 PM): gotta’ be at least ONE cute one
gochrisuniverse (11:14:27 PM): NYOPE
gochrisuniverse (11:14:29 PM): NEWP
gochrisuniverse (11:14:30 PM): NADA
THISPARTYISNSFW (11:14:39 PM): The audacity of that continent, man.
THISPARTYISNSFW (11:14:46 PM): Producing billions of subpar women.
Posted in AIM Conversations, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

Does the Pope shit in the woods?

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: May 16, 2010
gochrisuniverse (5:11:55 PM): i love kayden
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:13:12 PM): she’s a little too clever for her own good
gochrisuniverse (5:13:25 PM): i’d agree
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:13:52 PM): i wonder how many people in her classes know what she does
gochrisuniverse (5:14:03 PM): i’d guess all
gochrisuniverse (5:14:13 PM): i want to transfer to her school before she graduates
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:14:21 PM): i can’t jack off to her anymore.
gochrisuniverse (5:14:35 PM): i think i did once when joe first mentioned her
gochrisuniverse (5:14:48 PM): now i just wanna get dinner
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:15:06 PM): lol
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:15:17 PM): i want to just sit there and talk to her
gochrisuniverse (5:15:44 PM): i really wanna take her to the concert
gochrisuniverse (5:15:56 PM): i’ll boot beth with the quickness
gochrisuniverse (5:16:08 PM): “hey beth, this pornstar — kayden kross — wants your ticket. sorry”
gochrisuniverse (5:16:26 PM): i bet kayden would be like
gochrisuniverse (5:16:33 PM): as we get there
gochrisuniverse (5:16:37 PM): she pulls out a bottle of something
gochrisuniverse (5:16:47 PM): and we get smashed before we get in
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:16:51 PM): i would be her coat rack
gochrisuniverse (5:17:02 PM): i’d get on all fours so she could get a better view
gochrisuniverse (5:17:08 PM): give that bitch a boost
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:17:26 PM): lol
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:17:35 PM): I would make food for her
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:17:54 PM): I would throw my 6000 dollar white blazer in the mud so she could walk across it
gochrisuniverse (5:18:52 PM): i would take her on a date to a cozy bookstore so we can explore each others sensibilities and tastes through conversation about the different books we see
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:19:05 PM): i hate books
gochrisuniverse (5:19:15 PM): score 1 for me, then
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:19:23 PM): I sell coke
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:19:27 PM): score 5000 for me
gochrisuniverse (5:19:29 PM): hahaha
gochrisuniverse (5:19:37 PM): do you really have a $6000 white blazer?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:19:46 PM): does the pope shit in the woods?
Posted in AIM Conversations, Kayden, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Perfectly summed

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: May 16, 2010
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:21:29 PM): hahaha fucking, my friends and i were talking about me selling like
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:21:34 PM): 2 days ago
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:21:46 PM): my one friend sells weed and he’s always got a huge ass bookbag full
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:21:58 PM): and they’re like, “man, you should just sell weed. you don’t smoke so it’d be all profit”
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:22:03 PM): which is true
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:22:14 PM): but then I said, if i were to sell anything, it’d be coke
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:22:18 PM): more money.
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:22:25 PM): plus it’s not as scummy as weed
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:22:53 PM): weed is so low class
gochrisuniverse (5:24:33 PM): i was gonna’ say that
gochrisuniverse (5:24:35 PM): you’re above weed
gochrisuniverse (5:24:45 PM): weed is for unmotivated fucks
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:24:47 PM): exactly
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:24:54 PM): coke is for jetsetting go getters
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (5:24:59 PM): that’s us
Posted in AIM Conversations, Sunsets, 1986, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Just throwing that out there

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: May 11, 2010

gochrisuniverse (7:20:12 PM): man, dawg
gochrisuniverse (7:20:16 PM): she’s got a fuckin’ kid
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:20:24 PM): lmao
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:20:32 PM): is it just me
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:20:41 PM): or does that instantly make her less attractive?
gochrisuniverse (7:20:49 PM): way less
gochrisuniverse (7:21:07 PM): that shit aint tight
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:21:13 PM): the whole milf thing doesn’t really kick in until like age 35
gochrisuniverse (7:21:22 PM): yeah dude
gochrisuniverse (7:21:34 PM): prior to that, you’re just a fuckin’ shitty human being
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:21:41 PM): basically
gochrisuniverse (7:21:53 PM): you’re just a misfit if you have a kid pre-35
gochrisuniverse (7:22:00 PM): 25, i should say
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:22:03 PM): yeah basically
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:22:08 PM): 25-35 it’s whatever
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:22:50 PM): the whole idea of fucking someone’s mom isn’t really all that enticing until they’re old enough to understand that you’re defiling their mother.
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:23:05 PM): just throwing that out there.

Posted in AIM Conversations, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Some other-worldly shit

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: May 3, 2010

THISPARTYISNSFW (3:16:44 AM): Sometimes shit can be painful, man.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:17:04 AM): One time when I was a little kid on the way home from some deep ass family party with my parents I had to take this shit, right.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:17:11 AM): It was a massive rock monster.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:17:17 AM): Some other-worldly shit.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:17:21 AM): A golem.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:17:53 AM): And we’re like 10 miles from home and I’m like, “DAD PLEASE—DAD PLEASE PULL OVER I HAVE TO POO SO BAD.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:18:15 AM): My dad’s like, “Just chill and hold it. We’re like ten minutes away from home.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:18:38 AM): And I’m like, “NO, NO, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO GIVE BIRTH NOW.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:18:55 AM): And my mom is just like, “You do not know what it’s like to give birth.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:19:29 AM): And I have to cuddle up in the fetal position in the back seat cause I’m about to shit out Stone Henge.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:20:10 AM): And when we get home I gotta take laxative cause I had been eating too much meat and my shit was for real just like, “Yeah, yall gotta soften me up.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:20:21 AM): I will probably never forget that day for as long as I live.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:21:02 AM): What kinda sucks is that story is seriously not embellished one bit.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:21:11 AM): That’s about as close to the truth as fucking video footage.

Posted in AIM Conversations, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

White with cocaine

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: April 27, 2010

FIXATEDONPLASTIC (10:18:16 AM): I run this shit.
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (10:18:57 AM): These streets run white with cocaine
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (10:19:01 AM): now they’re gonna run red
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (10:19:05 AM): with your blood.

Posted in Sunsets, 1986, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Bolt-action rifle

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: April 13, 2010

[10:19] gochrisuniverse: “so how’s singapore? do anything crazy and fun?”
[10:19] gochrisuniverse: “why aren’t you out doing crazy and fun stuff?”
[10:19] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: you go to the district one dares not go to?
[10:20] gochrisuniverse: hahaha, nah
[10:20] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: hahaha
[10:20] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: get that digginyamouf
[10:20] gochrisuniverse: hahahah like a dentist
[10:20] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: BOOMSHAKALAKA
[10:20] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: all in ya mouffff
[10:20] gochrisuniverse: YO MOUF
[10:20] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: hahahaha
[10:20] gochrisuniverse: BOW
[10:20] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: haha
[10:20] gochrisuniverse: but it’s like
[10:20] gochrisuniverse: nah, i’m not doing anything crazy
[10:21] gochrisuniverse: ’cause there isn’t really crazy shit to do
[10:21] gochrisuniverse: even more so when you’re here fairly often
[10:21] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: you’re there for what, 4 days or so?
[10:21] gochrisuniverse: monday
[10:21] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: just get fucked up every night
[10:21] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: pretty simple
[10:21] gochrisuniverse: yeah, i guess
[10:21] gochrisuniverse: but they expect me to go game-hunting or something
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: HAHA
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: i just pictured you in soem fucking safari outfit or some shit
[10:22] gochrisuniverse: hahahaha
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: fuckin’ monocle
[10:22] gochrisuniverse: with those big ol’ hips
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: bolt-action rifle on your shoulder
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: yep
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: a fuckin’ pipe
[10:22] gochrisuniverse: “well i say, i fear i’ve spotted a bangle tiger off into the distance. shall we say, 32 yards?”
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: HAHAHA

Posted in fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Rex Nguyen

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: April 13, 2010

[07:56] soyezsilencieux: are you azn?
[07:56] gochrisuniverse: nope
[07:56] soyezsilencieux: nevermind
[07:56] gochrisuniverse: lol, why?
[07:57] soyezsilencieux: im writing a blog on the styles of “game” that each specific race of guy has
[07:57] soyezsilencieux: hahaahha
[07:57] soyezsilencieux: and ims tumped on AZN guys
[07:57] gochrisuniverse: hahaha
[07:57] gochrisuniverse: they like to impress chicks with their dance moves
[07:57] gochrisuniverse: that’s why when they’re just standing around, having conversations
[07:57] gochrisuniverse: they act like they’re practicing dance moves for their hip hop dance team
[07:58] soyezsilencieux: hahahhahaha!
[07:58] gochrisuniverse: and it’s like, dude
[07:58] gochrisuniverse: why are you dancing?
[07:58] soyezsilencieux: ABDC
[07:58] gochrisuniverse: “i’m trying out for ABDC ^_^_^_^_^_^YYYYYY”
[08:05] soyezsilencieux: hahahahaahahhh
[08:07] gochrisuniverse: like, go fuck yourself, you dance appreciation faggot
[08:07] gochrisuniverse: why is your name rex?
[08:07] gochrisuniverse: that’s not a real fucking name
[08:07] gochrisuniverse: rex nguyen
[08:07] soyezsilencieux: LOL
[08:07] soyezsilencieux: “rex nguyen”
[08:07] gochrisuniverse: only asians be havin’ corny ass names like that
[08:07] gochrisuniverse: “hope tran”
[08:08] gochrisuniverse: gtfo

Posted in AIM Conversations | Leave a comment

Dick in a bear-trap

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: April 13, 2010

[08:37] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: i had a pretty ethereal experience before
[08:38] gochrisuniverse: mm?
[08:38] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: yeah
[08:38] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: it was during sunset, i was feeling kind of shitty
[08:38] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: and i closed my eyes, and just kind of envisioned sitting on top of a mountain overlooking winding hills
[08:38] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: and all was well
[08:39] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: then I opened my eyes and I was still in albany so I snapped my dick in a beartrap

Posted in AIM Conversations, Sunsets, 1986, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

There’s a thief in our midst.

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: April 2, 2010

Posted in Getting United, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

Is it 3D? Yeah, it’s huge.

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: April 2, 2010

Posted in Getting United, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

More Nagel than you

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: March 20, 2010
gochrisuniverse (2:35:14 PM): hold out is so patrick nagel
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:35:15 PM): it’s ridic
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:35:34 PM): know what else is patrick nagel?
gochrisuniverse (2:35:37 PM): me
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:35:45 PM): yes
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:35:46 PM): but
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:35:47 PM): more
gochrisuniverse (2:35:53 PM): pray tell
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:35:56 PM): Me.
gochrisuniverse (2:36:03 PM): hahahahahahaha
gochrisuniverse (2:36:07 PM): you ain’t even got a piece of his work
gochrisuniverse (2:36:13 PM): how you gonna’ be more nagel than me?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:36:17 PM): if it weren’t for me neither would you, dawg
gochrisuniverse (2:36:29 PM): shit, true
gochrisuniverse (2:36:33 PM): but that don’t make you more nagel
gochrisuniverse (2:36:37 PM): just a better googler
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:36:43 PM): nagel was a good googler
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:36:45 PM): therefore
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:36:50 PM): me > you
Posted in AIM Conversations, Sunsets, 1986, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Not meant to be twisted

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: March 19, 2010
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:36:56 PM): Say that 5 times fast
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:37:03 PM): Nagel was a good Googler
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:37:11 PM): Nagel was a good Googler
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:37:26 PM): Irish wristwatch
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:37:36 PM): fuck that shit
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:37:39 PM): i hate tonguetwisters
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:37:44 PM): my tongue was not meant to be twisted
Posted in AIM Conversations, Sunsets, 1986, fixatedonplastic, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

That’s so fucking Raven

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: March 12, 2010
biirdiee (3:52:56 PM): already workin on mah tan
gochrisuniverse (3:53:06 PM): oh shit, me too
biirdiee (3:53:11 PM): shut up
gochrisuniverse (3:53:20 PM): no for real
gochrisuniverse (3:53:20 PM): i am
gochrisuniverse (3:53:24 PM): it’s warm out
gochrisuniverse (3:53:38 PM): damn
gochrisuniverse (3:53:42 PM): hawaii made you rude as fuck
biirdiee (3:53:48 PM): hahahahahha
gochrisuniverse (3:54:03 PM): how is it?
biirdiee (3:54:37 PM): mmmmazing
biirdiee (3:54:42 PM): im driving a convertable bug
biirdiee (3:54:43 PM): hahahahaha
gochrisuniverse (3:54:49 PM): that’s so raven
Posted in AIM Conversations | Leave a comment

An asymmetrical hair cut

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: March 8, 2010
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:56:57 PM): I got to this picture and for real cocked my head back and went “Whoa.“
gochrisuniverse (4:57:08 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
gochrisuniverse (4:57:13 PM): i knew that bitch in high school
gochrisuniverse (4:57:19 PM): and like, literally
gochrisuniverse (4:57:20 PM): from day one
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:57:25 PM): Hahahahaha, oh man.
gochrisuniverse (4:57:27 PM): immediately started going down hill
gochrisuniverse (4:57:41 PM): it was instant regression
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:57:56 PM): I was taken aback by how professional wrestler she looked.
gochrisuniverse (4:58:00 PM): hahahahaha
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:58:10 PM): omg
gochrisuniverse (4:58:11 PM): i kept saying that she looked like a body builder impersonator
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:58:11 PM): I feel so bad
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:58:13 PM): but not bad
gochrisuniverse (4:58:20 PM): just wait, dude
gochrisuniverse (4:58:28 PM): until the fucking nipple protectors come out
gochrisuniverse (4:58:36 PM): look at her fuckin’ crack belly, man
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:58:42 PM): omg man, this shit
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:58:45 PM): is killing me
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:58:48 PM): I am laughing so hard
gochrisuniverse (4:58:54 PM): her tan is coming off in the water and shit
gochrisuniverse (4:58:56 PM): it’s terrible
gochrisuniverse (4:59:01 PM): it’s a disaster
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:59:11 PM): Like, if I wanted to make this chick look like a dude in a hair metal band, it would probably take me like, 15 minutes.
gochrisuniverse (4:59:19 PM): hahahahahahahahaha
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:59:32 PM): OMG
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:59:34 PM): WTF
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:59:35 PM): LOL
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:59:39 PM): THE NIPPLE PROTECTORS
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:59:44 PM): WHAT IN THE FUCK
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:59:47 PM): WAS SHE HIGH?
gochrisuniverse (4:59:51 PM): i think so, dude
gochrisuniverse (4:59:52 PM): i really do
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:59:54 PM): WAS SHE HIGH WHEN SHE TOOK THESE PICTURES?
gochrisuniverse (4:59:58 PM): like, on some heavy shit
gochrisuniverse (5:00:03 PM): she was on some fucking serious shit, i know it
gochrisuniverse (5:00:05 PM): like
gochrisuniverse (5:00:08 PM): the hardest shit you can do
gochrisuniverse (5:00:12 PM): like
gochrisuniverse (5:00:14 PM): fucking
gochrisuniverse (5:00:17 PM): heroin and HGH
gochrisuniverse (5:00:20 PM): i bet on it
THISPARTYISNSFW (5:00:29 PM): Man
THISPARTYISNSFW (5:00:45 PM): You give her an asymmetrical hair cut and some hip clothes and she could be in Die Antwoord.
Posted in AIM Conversations, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

1988 Draft of Life

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: March 8, 2010
gochrisuniverse (4:10:54 PM): what if the birthing process was like a draft?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:11:18 PM): HAHAHA
gochrisuniverse (4:11:37 PM): you’d have families like
gochrisuniverse (4:11:41 PM): dumping their lives
gochrisuniverse (4:11:44 PM): to get the first pick
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:11:49 PM): HAHAHA
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:12:00 PM): trading away mad shit to get the first pick
gochrisuniverse (4:12:16 PM): or trading the rights to the first pick for mad shit
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:12:20 PM): hahaha
gochrisuniverse (4:14:16 PM): bud selig walks up to the podium
gochrisuniverse (4:14:29 PM): “with the #4 pick in the 1988 baby draft”
gochrisuniverse (4:14:41 PM): “the santos’ are now on the clock”
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:14:47 PM): hahahahaha
gochrisuniverse (4:14:49 PM): comes back
gochrisuniverse (4:15:16 PM): “there has been a trade; the reale’s have traded their selection rights to the 16th and 43rd picks for the #4 pick”
gochrisuniverse (4:15:23 PM): “and with that pick, they select ian thomas reale”
gochrisuniverse (4:15:27 PM): crowd goes nuts
gochrisuniverse (4:15:38 PM): mel kiper jr comes on to tell us your stats
gochrisuniverse (4:15:54 PM): “great blind-side blocker his senior year in the womb”
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:15:58 PM): i’d definitely be the number one pick.
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:16:22 PM): possibility i might slip to #2 because they might be afraid of my agent
gochrisuniverse (4:16:34 PM): hahahaha boras
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:16:38 PM): of course haha
gochrisuniverse (4:17:06 PM): i was a value pick at #10
gochrisuniverse (4:17:10 PM): ’cause jerry maguire is my agent
gochrisuniverse (4:17:12 PM): and he didn’t rep well
gochrisuniverse (4:17:28 PM): he wanted too much MOOOOOOOONEY
gochrisuniverse (4:17:33 PM): james went undrafted
gochrisuniverse (4:17:36 PM): :-(
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:17:37 PM): HAHA
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:17:46 PM): he was a sandwich round pick
gochrisuniverse (4:17:50 PM): hahahahaha
gochrisuniverse (4:18:31 PM): james couldn’t make it to the draft
gochrisuniverse (4:18:33 PM): ’cause his mom had work
gochrisuniverse (4:18:35 PM): and couldn’t drive him
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:18:38 PM): hahahaha
gochrisuniverse (4:18:45 PM): hahahahahahahaha, his mom couldn’t drive him to get birthed by her… self
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:18:56 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHA
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:19:14 PM): i just laughed so hard i farted
gochrisuniverse (4:19:18 PM): hahahahahahahaha
gochrisuniverse (4:19:24 PM): i just confused the shit out of myself, in all honesty
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:19:32 PM): hahaha that’s why i laughed
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:19:33 PM): i was like
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:19:37 PM): wtf is he trying to say
gochrisuniverse (4:19:41 PM): hahahahahahahahahha
gochrisuniverse (4:19:43 PM): my face
gochrisuniverse (4:19:45 PM): hahahahahahaha
gochrisuniverse (4:19:46 PM): it hurts
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (4:19:55 PM): hahahaha
Posted in AIM Conversations, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

No u

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: March 5, 2010
gochrisuniverse (7:29:35 PM): WHY SHE TRYIN’ TO MODEL?1
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:30:03 PM): oh come on man
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:30:07 PM): why you sendin me that
gochrisuniverse (7:30:22 PM): who she tryina’ model for?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:30:31 PM): u
gochrisuniverse (7:30:47 PM): no u
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:30:51 PM): no u
Posted in AIM Conversations, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Earned Fuck Average

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: March 2, 2010

[20:54] gochrisuniverse: you playin’ 2k10 huh?
[20:56] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: yep
[20:56] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: explain to me how i have a 2.06 era but a 3-3 record?
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: what if prostitution was our national past-time?
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: bitches havin’ an earned fuck average
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: on the back of a card
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: spread eagle on the front
[20:57] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: hahaha
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: all-star edition
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: holographic
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: with a piece of bubble gum in the pack
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: ayo ian
[20:58] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: ?
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: i’ll trade you this rookie season daisy duke for your ‘83 all-star holograph ms sunshine card
[20:58] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: no way
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: aw man
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: c’mon!
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: that’s a steal
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: i’ll throw in
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: okay
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: i’ll throw in
[20:59] gochrisuniverse: 2 veronica taylor cards from when she was with Pimpin’ C
[20:59] gochrisuniverse: those were her glory days, man
[20:59] gochrisuniverse: that’s such a catch
[20:59] gochrisuniverse: 3 for 1
[20:59] gochrisuniverse: wudduyasay?
[20:59] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: i’d say you’re tryin’ to rip me off
[20:59] gochrisuniverse: nah man!
[20:59] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: I’d say
[21:00] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: you have to throw in your Mz. Heatnips ‘73 rookie card to make that deal official
[21:02] gochrisuniverse: okay, okay. but if i throw in ‘73 nips, you gotta’ toss in that record-blowjob season, ‘82 tugboat tammy
[21:02] gochrisuniverse: she wasn’t even hot, dude
[21:02] gochrisuniverse: she was always 3rd string
[21:02] gochrisuniverse: but it evens out the deal
[21:02] gochrisuniverse: you know this
[21:02] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: okay fine but you gotta throw in your lebron james rookie card.

Posted in AIM Conversations, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

You better call Tyrone

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: February 28, 2010
gochrisuniverse (12:57:10 AM): you hear that?
biirdiee (12:57:13 AM): what
gochrisuniverse (12:57:19 AM): that’s my phone, not ringing
biirdiee (12:57:24 AM): HAHAH
Posted in AIM Conversations | Leave a comment

I’m a fuckin doctor

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: February 23, 2010
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:57:49 PM): i’m a fucking doctor
gochrisuniverse (9:58:00 PM): nah, you gotta’ ask questions first
gochrisuniverse (9:58:04 PM): “does it itch?”
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:58:06 PM): i don’t tell you how to suck dick on the street corner
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:58:10 PM): you don’t tell me how to do my job
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (9:58:12 PM): got it?
Posted in AIM Conversations, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Legitimately retarded

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: February 23, 2010
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (10:21:27 AM): this kid i know might be legitimately retarded
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (10:21:37 AM): aside from the fact that he’s vegan and straight edge, he wants to go to burma
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (10:22:03 AM): motherfucker, unless you’re rambo the FUCK would you wanna go to fuckin’ burma for?
Posted in AIM Conversations, fixatedonplastic | 2 Comments

OH MY GAWD WE’RE BACK AGAIN

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 29, 2010

[16:30] THISPARTYISNSFW: So basically
[16:31] THISPARTYISNSFW: I installed Google Analytics in my asshole.
[16:31] THISPARTYISNSFW: According to these numbers, I have shit more times in this last week than in any two months in 2009 combined.

Posted in AIM Conversations, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

HERP DERP

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 20, 2010
moonb1ooms (9:40:57 PM): i used to be the ugliest, most awkward thing.
moonb1ooms (9:41:07 PM): it’s one of those ugly duckling things
gochrisuniverse (9:41:23 PM): you grew into it?
moonb1ooms (9:41:50 PM): no i worked reeeeally hard to change it
gochrisuniverse (9:42:06 PM): how so?
moonb1ooms (9:42:15 PM): i lost a ton of weight and started to take very good care of myself
moonb1ooms (9:42:35 PM): and i went back to high school senior year and people thought i was new
moonb1ooms (9:42:54 PM): and i was like, HERP DERP FOOLED U GUISE IM STILL AWKWARD
Posted in AIM Conversations | Leave a comment

Ode to Kristen Bell

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 18, 2010
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:38:49 PM): time to haiku?
gochrisuniverse (7:38:56 PM): fuck yeah, it’s time to haik’
gochrisuniverse (7:39:01 PM): you do the honors first
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:39:13 PM): Kristen Bell, oh god
The things I would do to you.
You have no idea.
gochrisuniverse (7:39:21 PM): hahahaha
gochrisuniverse (7:40:29 PM): ode to kristen bell
put a baby in that ass
let me see that smile
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:40:38 PM): hahahah
gochrisuniverse (8:06:06 PM): never forget, dawg
forgetting sarah marshall
you can thank kristen
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:06:14 PM): hahaha
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:06:39 PM): we need that book deal
gochrisuniverse (8:06:55 PM): tried to suck the tip
i would have let her do it
then do mila, dawg
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:07:04 PM): hahahahaha
gochrisuniverse (8:07:12 PM): i love that scene
gochrisuniverse (8:07:19 PM): she’s all, “get hard for me baby!”
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:07:27 PM): hahahah i know
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:07:32 PM): i woulda been like
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:07:34 PM): done
gochrisuniverse (8:07:37 PM): hahahahaha
gochrisuniverse (8:07:40 PM): i woulda’ been like
gochrisuniverse (8:07:53 PM): “i already came. a couple minutes before you even opened your beautiful fucking whore mouth”
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:08:21 PM): hahahahaha
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:08:31 PM): i’d put the pussy on a pedestal, dawg
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:08:36 PM): wouldn’t be able to help it
gochrisuniverse (8:08:42 PM): i can’t hate that
gochrisuniverse (8:08:50 PM): i’d wake her up in the middle of the night
gochrisuniverse (8:08:53 PM): just so her eye goes lazy
gochrisuniverse (8:08:57 PM): and then be like
gochrisuniverse (8:09:00 PM): aw baby, that’s so cute
gochrisuniverse (8:09:03 PM): and mean it
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:09:43 PM): we’re so fucking sensitive
gochrisuniverse (8:09:57 PM): the way to be
Posted in AIM Conversations, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Renowned cocaine connoisseur

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 18, 2010
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:58:18 PM): my new roommate better realize he’s going to be living with a future internet celebrity
gochrisuniverse (2:58:51 PM): not to mention renowned cocaine connoisseur
gochrisuniverse (2:58:56 PM): and future club venue owner
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:58:59 PM): serious
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:59:04 PM): and enjoyer of fine beers
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:59:13 PM): i’m rollin’ in there with two expensive ass six packs
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:59:16 PM): do i give him one?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:59:18 PM): hayull no
gochrisuniverse (2:59:24 PM): unless
gochrisuniverse (2:59:27 PM): unless he’s legit
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:59:31 PM): exactly
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:59:36 PM): plus he’s underage
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (2:59:41 PM): johnny law’s on my back as it is
gochrisuniverse (2:59:48 PM): yeah, fuck
gochrisuniverse (3:00:02 PM): after we found out pablo was a narc
gochrisuniverse (3:00:07 PM): don’t know who we can trust
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (3:00:10 PM): exactly
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (3:00:14 PM): this dude’s name is carlos
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (3:00:18 PM): carlos ventura
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (3:00:21 PM): he fits the profile
gochrisuniverse (3:00:28 PM): damn
gochrisuniverse (3:00:33 PM): it can go one of two ways;
gochrisuniverse (3:01:00 PM): you can either walk in and he’s doin’ a line off the lower-back of a bushy haired bombshell with the blinds barely cracked
gochrisuniverse (3:01:09 PM): or he can be a double-fucking-agent
gochrisuniverse (3:01:38 PM): imagine you drive up to the building
gochrisuniverse (3:01:48 PM): you see a ferrari in the reserved parking
gochrisuniverse (3:01:52 PM): you go up to your room
gochrisuniverse (3:01:54 PM): say what’s up
gochrisuniverse (3:02:01 PM): “any idea who’s ferrari that is?”
gochrisuniverse (3:02:04 PM): and carlos goes,
gochrisuniverse (3:02:10 PM): “yeah… mine.”
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (3:02:20 PM): i’d throw him a beer immediately
Posted in AIM Conversations, Sunsets, 1986, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

My father’s father

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 18, 2010
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:21:28 PM): I need to really kill it with women for the next few years
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:21:33 PM): So I can teach my son to do the same
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:21:47 PM): So when he has a son, he can sit him on his lap when he is 5 years old and say
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:23:07 PM): “Son, this butterfly knife has been passed down through the generations between Manibusans.  It is a symbol of our ability to woo women.  It belonged to me, and my father, and my father’s father.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:23:20 PM): “Now it is yours.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:23:33 PM): And I will be standing over my son’s shoulder as a ghost.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:23:36 PM): Arms crossed.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:23:38 PM): Shaking my head.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:23:56 PM): Like, “Maximum, why would you give a 5 year old a butterfly knife?”
gochrisuniverse (3:24:04 PM): hahahaha
Posted in AIM Conversations | Leave a comment

Neh neh neh I wath juth

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 13, 2010
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:03:39 PM): Damn nigga
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:03:41 PM): I just realized
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:03:47 PM): Why you gotta b so mean?
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:04:03 PM): “Excuse me, Chris, but I was wondering what the song on GCU was?”
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:04:23 PM): “Anoraak – Long something…it should say at the bottom, idiot.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:04:39 PM): “I was just…”
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:05:00 PM): “Neh neh neh I wath juth–shutting the fuck up.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:05:51 PM): “Neh neh neh–that’s what you sound like to me.  Like a little whiney baby.  Keep your mouth shut while grown folks is talkin’.“
THISPARTYISNSFW (4:06:43 PM): 2010 turned you into a wearin’-sunglasses-indoors, ruthless motherfucker.
Posted in AIM Conversations | Leave a comment

Vegeta and Napa go to Old Navy

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 13, 2010
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:34:23 PM): [Vegeta and Napa get in line at Old Navy]
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:34:30 PM): [Vegeta places shirt on counter]
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:34:38 PM): [Clerk scans the shirt]
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:34:44 PM): [Total comes up on register]
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:34:57 PM): “WHAT, THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE.“
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:35:10 PM): “VEGETA, WHAT DOES THE SCANNER SAY?”
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:35:23 PM): “IT’S OVER NINE-THOUSAAAAAAAND!“
Posted in AIM Conversations, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

Fuck everything

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 13, 2010
THISPARTYISNSFW (8:12:42 PM): Roma
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:12:49 PM): RA RA LA LA LA
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:12:52 PM): ROMA MA MA MA
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:12:57 PM): whoa whoa
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:13:00 PM): slow it down chris
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:13:07 PM): you’re butchering it
THISPARTYISNSFW (8:13:08 PM): You’re getting overzealous.
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:13:10 PM): please, do the honors
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:13:11 PM): ahem
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:13:16 PM): RA HMAH
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:13:18 PM): fuck it
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:13:20 PM): i don’t care
THISPARTYISNSFW (8:13:21 PM): HAHAHAHA
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:13:22 PM): hahahahahahahahahahahaha
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:13:23 PM): i’m gonna make a typo
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:13:26 PM): i don’t care
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:13:28 PM): fuck everything
Posted in AIM Conversations, fixatedonplastic, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

Ode to Greene

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 13, 2010
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:33:19 PM): dawg, this ashley greene bitch
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:33:30 PM): who dat?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:33:39 PM): some bitch from twilight apparently
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:33:46 PM): sup witter
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:33:52 PM): i’d hit it.
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:33:58 PM): lemme google
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:34:12 PM): oh, shit
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:34:12 PM): me too
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:34:15 PM): haha
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:34:23 PM): like tim allen
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:34:25 PM): UUUUHNNN???
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:34:28 PM): HAHAHAHAHA
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:34:52 PM): shall we haiku?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:35:00 PM): we shall
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:35:33 PM): ashley greene, you bitch
good thing you did twilight, dawg
i’m going to take half
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:35:42 PM): HAHAHA
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:35:44 PM): okay lemme see
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:36:11 PM): I didn’t watch it
Twilight is fucking gay, dawg
But I would wreck that.
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:38:19 PM): dope in a one piece
she’s shotgun in my countach
contemplate that shit
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:38:32 PM): hahahaha fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:38:40 PM): that ain’t a onepiece though, dawg
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:38:43 PM): she ain’t wearin’ nothin
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:38:47 PM): I KNOW
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:38:52 PM): OMG
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:40:27 PM): so why is the focus of that faggot series on that average ass bitch?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:40:28 PM): and not her?
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:41:30 PM): i wish i knew
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:41:44 PM): she could win it a point or two on the no homo scale
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:41:50 PM): yeah for real
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:46:47 PM): who the fuck
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:46:49 PM): gives a fuck
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:46:51 PM): about her?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:47:00 PM): how fucking average is that bitch?
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:47:07 PM): i see prettier girls at school
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:47:09 PM): like, who the fuck was casting
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:47:11 PM): and thought
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:47:22 PM): oh, we have this DOPE bitch…supporting role
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (6:47:27 PM): OH YOU’RE AVERAGE. LEAD.
Posted in AIM Conversations, Sunsets, 1986, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

WHIPPED OUT THE JAMMIE

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 12, 2010
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:00:39 PM): LMAO
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:00:54 PM): THE NAME OF THE GIRL THAT JUST REQUESTED ME ON BP
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:00:58 PM): IS JAMMIE
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (9:01:04 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHA
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:01:19 PM): OF COURSE I’LL BE YOUR FRIEND BITCH
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:01:21 PM): OF FUCKIN COURSE
Posted in AIM Conversations, Beautiful People, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

PEACEBITCH

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 12, 2010
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (9:16:01 PM): DAWG
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (9:16:05 PM): THE GIRL I’M TALKING TO
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (9:16:10 PM): I JUST REALIZED
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (9:16:16 PM): I GAVE HER THE REDDEST X EARLIER
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:16:23 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHA
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (9:16:23 PM): IT’S ALL MY FAULT
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (9:16:28 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:16:30 PM): PEACEBITCH
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (9:16:37 PM): GOOD GAME, PEACE OUT
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:16:41 PM): GO BACK TO 2009 WHERE YOU CAME FROM.
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:16:44 PM): DA BLACK ABYSS.
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:17:02 PM): GRENDEL ASS RED-X ASS MOTHERFUCKER.
Posted in AIM Conversations, Beautiful People, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

We’re fucking ruthless

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 12, 2010
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (9:08:06 PM): and i’m a little sad, joe
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (9:08:16 PM): this girl i’m having a normal conversation with via beautifulpeople mail
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (9:08:28 PM): looks like she isn’t going to be accepted into our exclusive website
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (9:08:36 PM): :[
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:08:50 PM): Awww, your poor bleeding heart.
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:08:54 PM): Cut that shit out.
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:08:56 PM): Wake the fuck up.
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:09:01 PM): It’s 2010, baby.
THISPARTYISNSFW (9:09:04 PM): And we’re fucking ruthless.
Posted in AIM Conversations, Beautiful People, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

We don’t have to be shit

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 12, 2010
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:52:35 PM): 2 new in my inbox on bp
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:52:54 PM): axin’ me about depeche mode and shit
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:53:16 PM): “Ha!!! You live in LA, grew up in Singapore, you’re Aquarius and you travel the world? ME TOO! All of that!!! We must be twins separated at birth, lolllllllll
OK, we have to be friends now. This is toooo funny!
Write me back soon!
-Tess“
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:53:17 PM): nope
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:53:19 PM): we don’t have to be shit
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:53:26 PM): iono how you even got on this site
THISPARTYISNSFW (7:53:30 PM): lmao
Posted in AIM Conversations, Beautiful People, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

Drop it low, bitch

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 11, 2010
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:05:06 PM): Drop it low, bitch.
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:05:11 PM): Cause that’s what I’m doing to your rating.
Posted in AIM Conversations, Beautiful People, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

Captain Pinbacker

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 11, 2010
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:35:28 PM): “your broadcast was sent.”
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:35:33 PM): like it’s my last hope
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:35:40 PM): Hahahaha.
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:35:46 PM): You’re on Icarus II.
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:35:50 PM): hahahaha
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:35:58 PM): About to enter the dead zone.
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:36:14 PM): EXCEPT KAPPA SPENT AN HOUR SENDING HIS TRANSMISSION!
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:36:19 PM): GRRRRRRRRR!!!
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:36:34 PM): EHRRRRRGGHHHHHHHH!!!
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:36:41 PM): HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:36:55 PM): I FUCK UP OKAY
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:37:06 PM): MY HEAD WAS FULL OF CALCULATIONS AND TRAJECTORIES
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:37:19 PM): I FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK UP!
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:37:22 PM): spit flyin’ everywhere
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:37:27 PM): Hahahaha
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:37:37 PM): fuckin’ spitty ass talkin’ ass asian dude
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:37:56 PM): You are going to die, Kappa.
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:38:05 PM): What?
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:38:20 PM): There is not enough oxygen to sustain five crew members.
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:38:34 PM): Four crew members, Icarus.
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:38:36 PM): Five.
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:38:39 PM): Four.
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:38:44 PM): Five crew members.
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:38:50 PM): Icarus, who is the fifth crew member?
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:38:54 PM): Unknown.
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:38:58 PM): UHN!
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:38:59 PM): Fuhhhhhh.
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:39:06 PM): UUUUUUUUUUUUHN!
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:39:11 PM): it’s fuckin’
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:39:17 PM): captain spearhead or whatever
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:39:26 PM): captain barnackle
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:39:26 PM): Pinbacker
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:39:27 PM): Hahahaha
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:39:28 PM): pinbacker
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (6:39:29 PM): there
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:39:29 PM): LMAO
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:39:34 PM): Barnackle.
Posted in AIM Conversations, Beautiful People, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

I’m fuckin ruthless

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 11, 2010
THISPARTYISNSFW (5:58:48 PM): I’m fuckin ruthless
THISPARTYISNSFW (5:58:56 PM): Someone has a weird angle in their picture?
THISPARTYISNSFW (5:58:58 PM): Fuck ‘em.
THISPARTYISNSFW (5:59:05 PM): Lighting looks too good?
THISPARTYISNSFW (5:59:07 PM): Fuck ‘em.
THISPARTYISNSFW (5:59:29 PM): Showin’ too much cleavage and look like you’re from an adult dating site?
THISPARTYISNSFW (5:59:32 PM): Fuck ‘em.
THISPARTYISNSFW (5:59:38 PM): Look like a mom?
THISPARTYISNSFW (5:59:40 PM): Fuck ‘em.
THISPARTYISNSFW (6:00:26 PM): Don’t try to trick me by looking up at the camera and covering your second neck with your hair, cause I know you’re fuckin’ fat, bitch.
Posted in AIM Conversations, Beautiful People, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

OH NAW

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 10, 2010
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:44:27 PM): OH NAW
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:44:30 PM): OH HAAAAAAAAYO NAW
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:44:31 PM): NAW
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:44:31 PM): NAW
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:44:31 PM): NAW
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:44:38 PM): HOW YOU GONE FREN ME FROM BP
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:44:47 PM): DEN STORT COMMENTIN’ MY SHIT
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:44:48 PM): STRAIGHT AWAY
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:44:50 PM): YOU BEST QUIT
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:44:53 PM): BLOWIN’ MY COVER AND SHIT
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:44:56 PM): YOU BEST QUIT
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:44:58 PM): NAW
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:45:00 PM): NAW NAW NAW
THISPARTYISNSFW (7:45:04 PM): HAHAHAHAHHAA
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:45:22 PM): IONO WHO DA FUX U IS
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:45:30 PM): YOU NEED TO KEEP YO COMMENTS TO YOSELF
THISPARTYISNSFW (7:45:39 PM): lmao
THISPARTYISNSFW (7:45:42 PM): I wish you got rate limited
THISPARTYISNSFW (7:45:46 PM): Like in the chat
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:46:18 PM): you’re all
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:46:23 PM): DIS NUGGUH DONE GONE MAD
THISPARTYISNSFW (7:46:32 PM): Hahahahahaahahaha
THISPARTYISNSFW (7:46:38 PM): I am laughing so hard right now.
Posted in AIM Conversations, Beautiful People, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

Certified Beautiful

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 10, 2010
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (2:59:38 PM): i got my application accepted to beautifulpeople.com
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (2:59:45 PM): university of california, beautiful people
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:59:47 PM): So now your shit is legit?
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (2:59:51 PM): yeah
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:59:56 PM): Certified Beautiful?
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (3:00:06 PM): certified fucking beautiful
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:00:46 PM): I wish you were like
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:00:51 PM): “Now the site runs fine.”
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (3:00:56 PM): in some ways, it does
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:01:08 PM): That’s what I wanna fuckin’ hear.
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (3:01:11 PM): but it’s still fairly buggy
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:01:47 PM): How the fuck does my rating period end in 4 hours, when just yesterday it reset to 48.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:01:58 PM): These motherfuckers, I swear to god.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:02:17 PM): I cannot handle how retarded this fuckin’ site is.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:02:31 PM): But I guess that’s why it’s BeautifulPeople.com and not IntelligentPeople.com.
Posted in AIM Conversations, Beautiful People, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

SO DON'T BE A HERO!

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 4, 2010

gochrisuniverse (12:37:59 AM): DEAR FUCKING DIARY
gochrisuniverse (12:38:00 AM): DAY 3
gochrisuniverse (12:38:02 AM): LOSING MOMENTUM
gochrisuniverse (12:38:07 AM): LOVE, CHRIS
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:07 AM): We will make MMX the shit.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:11 AM): We will make it.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:15 AM): By force, if we have to.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:19 AM): [cocks gun]
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:48 AM): I need MMX to know that we don’t want to hurt it, and that we won’t have to if it does what we tell it to do.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:52 AM): EYES DOWN!
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:57 AM): EYES FUCKING DOWN!
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:39:07 AM): DON’T TRY TO BE A HERO, JANUARY.
gochrisuniverse (12:39:19 AM): JANUARY, YOU GOT KIDS?
gochrisuniverse (12:39:23 AM): YOU GOT A WIFE?
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:39:27 AM): JANUARY.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:39:31 AM): WE’RE FUCKING TALKING TO YOU.
gochrisuniverse (12:39:44 AM): LOOK AT ME, JANUARY!
gochrisuniverse (12:39:48 AM): EYES FUCKING DOWN!
gochrisuniverse (12:39:52 AM): DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME!
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:40:11 AM): MR. C, SHOW HIM HOW MUCH WE DON’T LIKE HEROES.
gochrisuniverse (12:40:35 AM): *smashes january’s face with the butt of his shotgun*
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:40:43 AM): You see, Jan?
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:40:51 AM): You see what happens when you don’t listen?
gochrisuniverse (12:40:54 AM): I DIDN’T WANT TO DO THAT, JANUARY
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:41:13 AM): Mr. C here has to introduce you to his friend over there.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:41:28 AM): And his friend is very temperamental.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:41:57 AM): Now be good and PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS BEHIND YOUR FUCKING HEAD AND PUT THAT FUCKING HEAD ON THE GODDAMNFLOOR.
gochrisuniverse (12:42:06 AM): NOW!
gochrisuniverse (12:42:11 AM): AND FOR THE REST OF YOU FUCKING MONTHS,
gochrisuniverse (12:42:23 AM): WE DON’T WANT YOUR AWESOME, WE WANT THE YEARS AWESOME.
gochrisuniverse (12:42:34 AM): YOUR AWESOME IS INSURED BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AND THE FDIC!
gochrisuniverse (12:42:41 AM): SO DON’T. BE. A. HERO!

hrisuniverse (12:37:59 AM): DEAR FUCKING DIARY
gochrisuniverse (12:38:00 AM): DAY 3
gochrisuniverse (12:38:02 AM): LOSING MOMENTUM
gochrisuniverse (12:38:07 AM): LOVE, CHRIS
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:07 AM): We will make MMX the shit.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:11 AM): We will make it.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:15 AM): By force, if we have to.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:19 AM): [cocks gun]
gochrisuniverse (12:38:23 AM): gonna’ rape the shit out of MMX
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:48 AM): I need MMX to know that we don’t want to hurt it, and that we won’t have to if it does what we tell it to do.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:52 AM): EYES DOWN!
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:57 AM): EYES FUCKING DOWN!
gochrisuniverse (12:39:05 AM): hahahahahahaha
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:39:07 AM): DON’T TRY TO BE A HERO, JANUARY.
gochrisuniverse (12:39:19 AM): JANUARY, YOU GOT KIDS?
gochrisuniverse (12:39:23 AM): YOU GOT A WIFE?
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:39:27 AM): JANUARY.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:39:31 AM): WE’RE FUCKING TALKING TO YOU.
gochrisuniverse (12:39:44 AM): LOOK AT ME, JANUARY!
gochrisuniverse (12:39:48 AM): EYES FUCKING DOWN!
gochrisuniverse (12:39:52 AM): DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME!
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:40:11 AM): MR. C, SHOW HIM HOW MUCH WE DON’T LIKE HEROES.
gochrisuniverse (12:40:35 AM): *smashes january’s face with the butt of his shotgun*
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:40:43 AM): You see, Jan?
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:40:51 AM): You see what happens when you don’t listen?
gochrisuniverse (12:40:54 AM): I DIDN’T WANT TO DO THAT, JANUARY
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:41:13 AM): Mr. C here has to introduce you to his friend over there.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:41:28 AM): And his friend is very temperamental.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:41:57 AM): Now be good and PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS BEHIND YOUR FUCKING HEAD AND PUT THAT FUCKING HEAD ON THE GODDAMN FLOOR.
gochrisuniverse (12:42:06 AM): NOW!
gochrisuniverse (12:42:11 AM): AND FOR THE REST OF YOU FUCKING MONTHS,
gochrisuniverse (12:42:23 AM): WE DON’T WANT YOUR AWESOME, WE WANT THE YEARS AWESOME.
gochrisuniverse (12:42:34 AM): YOUR AWESOME IS INSURED BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AND THE FDIC OR SOME SHIT!
gochrisuniverse (12:42:41 AM): SO DON’T. BE. A. HERO!
Posted in AIM Conversations, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

EST+5:00

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 2, 2010

GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:49:55 PM): joe’s gonna’ be mad
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:50:01 PM): that i’m posting so many posts in a row
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:50:05 PM): lmao
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:51:11 PM): i’m saving them for tomorrow
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:51:13 PM): lol
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:51:27 PM): it’s tomorrow right now
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:51:54 PM): yeah, there
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:52:11 PM): i’ve told you before
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:52:19 PM): the only timezone that exists is GMT-5:00
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:52:35 PM): gmt doesn’t even exist.
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:52:48 PM): gmt is really just EST+5:00

Posted in AIM Conversations, Sunsets, 1986, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Inherent danger

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 2, 2010

GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:49:10 PM): who knew there was a fucking inherent danger to being this comprehensive?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:49:23 PM): there’s danger in everything, dawg
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:49:28 PM): i mean
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:49:31 PM): sunsets themselves
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:49:34 PM): coke is no toy.
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:49:40 PM): neither are ferraris.

Posted in AIM Conversations, Sunsets, 1986, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Almost too contemplative

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 2, 2010

GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:02 PM): fucking
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:09 PM): the official video for enjoy the silence
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:13 PM): the beginning is so sick
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:41:17 PM): hahaha i know
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:17 PM): the extended beginning
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:40 PM): one of the downsides to contemplating is that sometimes
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:44 PM): it can just be depressing
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:47 PM): like
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:53 PM): the first 20 seconds of that video
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:56 PM): you’re contemplating
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:58 PM): they’re contemplating
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:00 PM): the black and white
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:02 PM): the roses
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:06 PM): it’s heavy shit
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:10 PM): it’s a heavy burden to take on
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:16 PM): that’s why not so many can handle that kinda’ heat
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:42:19 PM): like i told you
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:42:24 PM): that video makes me want to kill myself
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:32 PM): it really does
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:42:34 PM): it’s almost too contemplative
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:43 PM): if there ever were such a thing
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:42:50 PM): indeed

GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:02 PM): fucking
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:09 PM): the official video for ETS
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:13 PM): the beginning is so sick
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:41:17 PM): hahaha i know
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:17 PM): the extended beginning
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:40 PM): one of the downsides to contemplating is that sometimes
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:44 PM): it can just be depressing
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:47 PM): like
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:53 PM): the first 20 seconds of that video
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:56 PM): you’re contemplating
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:58 PM): they’re contemplating
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:00 PM): the black and white
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:02 PM): the roses
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:06 PM): it’s heavy shit
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:10 PM): it’s a heavy burden to take on
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:16 PM): that’s why not so many can handle that kinda’ heat
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:42:19 PM): like i told you
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:42:24 PM): that video makes me want to kill myself
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:32 PM): it really does
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:42:34 PM): it’s almost too contemplative
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:43 PM): if there ever were such a thing
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:42:50 PM): indeed
Posted in AIM Conversations, Sunsets, 1986, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

That's romantic

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 2, 2010

GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:14:22 PM): who THE FUCK walks in the rain?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:09 PM): idiots
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:17 PM): i hate walking in the rain, man
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:20 PM): shit isn’t romantic
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:22 PM): it’s just stupid
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:26 PM): you know what’s romantic?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:28 PM): walking on the beach
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:30 PM): during a sunset.
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:32 PM): that’s romantic.
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:16:40 PM): that gets me a boner just thinkin’ about it
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:16:45 PM): hell, it’s romantic all alone
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:51 PM): i know.

Posted in AIM Conversations, Sunsets, 1986, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Bunk ass Chris ass Universe

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 2, 2010
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:07:56 PM): your fucked up code fucked up my gold
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:08:12 PM): what?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:08:18 PM): look at the post
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:08:24 PM): huge takes up another one of my lines
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:08:31 PM): oh, hahahahahaha
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:08:47 PM): your fucked up gold fucked up my code, dawg
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:08:54 PM): lol
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:09:01 PM): your code is bunk dawg
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:09:07 PM): your fucking gold is bunk
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:09:15 PM): you’re bunk
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:09:16 PM): bunk ass gold ass shit
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:09:27 PM): bunk ass chris ass universe
Posted in AIM Conversations, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Pumpkin head lookin' baby

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 2, 2010
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:50:11 PM): that baby is SO cute
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:50:11 PM): and fat
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:50:19 PM): babies just be havin’ ROLLS
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:50:18 PM): that is not cute
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:50:24 PM): that baby’s fuckin’ head is HUGE
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:50:46 PM): fake ass lookin’ baby
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:50:54 PM): lookin’ like a doll
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:50:59 PM): that baby looks fuckin’ fake
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:04 PM): fuckin’ big headed fake ass baby
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:13 PM): i bet you that motherfucker is like 35
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:51:16 PM): hahahaha
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:20 PM): like that fuckin’ marlon wayans movie
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:22 PM): lil’ pimp
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:53 PM): dawg
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:57 PM): that baby’s head is
 FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:57 PM): HUGE
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:52:09 PM): for real.
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:52:28 PM): hahahahahaha
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:52:46 PM): fuckin’ pumpkin head lookin’ baby
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:00 PM): fuckin’ hot air balloon and shit
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:08 PM): i’m about to cut that baby’s head off
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:11 PM): and attach a basket too it
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:15 PM): and light a fire under it
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:19 PM): and float into the sunset
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:53:39 PM): man
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:53:42 PM): i was about to open an IM to you
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:53:46 PM): and copy and paste that shit to yourself
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:49 PM): hahahahaha
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:53 PM): that’s how dope i am
Posted in AIM Conversations, fixatedonplastic | Leave a comment

Joseph Manibusan as RDII

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: January 2, 2010
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:08:54 AM): I got some hood ass friends
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:09:38 AM): I went to a party where they were shooting dice in the hallway and they had black ass strippers pouring milk on they tits and grindin’ they soft asses on my cognac drinkin ass.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:10:19 AM): Then they started putting bananas in they pussy and pulsating they buttholes and was like, “Aight, I’m out befo’ we get to da prestige.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:11:20 AM): One of the older black dudes was all
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:12:10 AM): “AYE I’M NOT GONNA LIE WHEN U WALKED IN DAT DO’ I WAS LIKE, ‘DAMN IS DAT ROBERT DOWNEY JR.’  FA REAL BLUH YOU LOOK LIKE ROBERT DOWNEY JR. TO ME.”
Posted in AIM Conversations, thispartyisnsfw | Leave a comment

Conniving demon women

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: December 31, 2009
EclecticNative (2:53:25 AM): don’t even know her and she already deceiving me
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (2:53:32 AM): conniving demon woman
EclecticNative (2:53:32 AM): typical
EclecticNative (2:54:09 AM): gay dudes got it made
EclecticNative (2:54:17 AM): if i wasn’t so scared of anal sex
EclecticNative (2:54:22 AM): i’d be gay
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (2:54:45 AM): why not just go gay
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (2:54:50 AM): and just not do dudes?
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (2:54:52 AM): and do women instead?
EclecticNative (2:55:10 AM): man because women are catching on these days
EclecticNative (2:55:23 AM): they will routinely expect some gay deeds to be done
EclecticNative (2:55:27 AM): in their presence
EclecticNative (2:56:19 AM): and expect you to say cliche gay shit
EclecticNative (2:56:26 AM): like.. you go girlfriend
EclecticNative (2:56:31 AM): or snap my fingers
EclecticNative (2:57:12 AM): and i’m not down with wearing loud colors man
EclecticNative (2:57:26 AM): i make fun of clowns i don’t go dress like them
EclecticNative (2:58:13 AM): now you get cool with some lesbian broads? you got it made
EclecticNative (2:58:18 AM): they’ll hook you up
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (2:58:50 AM): senay, dropping knowledge
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (2:58:54 AM): right before the end of the year
EclecticNative (2:59:10 AM): hell yeah man start 2010 swimming in pussy
Posted in AIM Conversations | 1 Comment

Leather cutlery

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: December 30, 2009
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:55:55 PM): why don’t people make leather blankets?
imacoatrack (11:59:58 PM): maybe not in singapore
imacoatrack (11:59:59 PM): but uh
imacoatrack (12:00:06 AM): at my house
imacoatrack (12:00:11 AM): everything is leather
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (12:00:21 AM): haha, no shit?
imacoatrack (12:00:30 AM): leather walls
imacoatrack (12:00:34 AM): leather carpet
imacoatrack (12:01:01 AM): leather incase for the multiple flat screens
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (12:01:11 AM): hahaha, leather forks
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (12:01:15 AM): leather ass cutlery
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (12:01:20 AM): leather coffee mugs
imacoatrack (12:01:23 AM): we dont fuck around
imacoatrack (12:01:42 AM): we cut our meat with the skins of our fruits of our bounty
imacoatrack (12:02:04 AM): my mom works at the leather depot
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (12:02:02 AM): hahaha, i picture you kicking the front door open
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (12:02:21 AM): with game you shot, around your shoulders
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (12:02:28 AM): knife between your teeth
imacoatrack (12:02:44 AM): im rich tho
imacoatrack (12:02:53 AM): so i have my moms help  carry it for me
imacoatrack (12:02:55 AM): actually no
imacoatrack (12:03:00 AM): they carry it just to the door
imacoatrack (12:03:06 AM): then then drape it over my shoulders
imacoatrack (12:03:13 AM): so that i can reap the glory
imacoatrack (12:03:26 AM): because im a man
imacoatrack (12:03:31 AM): and i do man stuff
Posted in AIM Conversations | Leave a comment

Weak to fucking nothing

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: December 28, 2009
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:07:42 PM): I wish you were a pokemon.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:07:48 PM): Called Lookatchu.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:07:57 PM): I would catch your ass.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:07:59 PM): And tame you.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:08:04 PM): And keep you in a little ball.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:08:05 PM): On my hip.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:08:19 PM): Level your ass up.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:08:23 PM): Until you evolve.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:08:38 PM): Into a Gazatchu.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:08:59 PM): And finally into a Staratchu.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:09:28 PM): You would be fucking strong.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:09:41 PM): And be a space-elemental.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:09:48 PM): Which is weak to fucking nothing.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:10:51 PM): And you would cast shit like “Gravity Well” and “Points of Lagrange” and “Quasar”.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:11:46 PM): Only light-elementals would even be near your fucking level, but that’s because nothing travels faster than light in a vacuum.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:12:04 PM): I fuckin’ want this now.
THISPARTYISNSFW (2:12:09 PM): Get in this ball.
Posted in AIM Conversations, thispartyisnsfw | 1 Comment

The sun will always set

By GOCHRISUNIVERSE | Published: December 26, 2009

[11:21] THISPARTYISNSFW: Next thing you know I’m walking along some train tracks and all my belongings are in a handkerchief hanging from a stick.
[11:22] gochrisuniverse: dressed nice as FUCK
[11:22] gochrisuniverse: like, ayo
[11:22] gochrisuniverse: joe
[11:22] gochrisuniverse: you da bes lookin’ vagrant i know
[11:22] THISPARTYISNSFW: Baby.
[11:22] THISPARTYISNSFW: That’s cause in poverty or in wealth, the sun will always set.