[20:50] THISPARTYISNSFW: Damn, I wish Contemplative Theory 204 was a real class.
[20:50] gochrisuniverse: we should write up a course description and lesson plan
[20:51] gochrisuniverse: some stupid arch-liberal college will like it and take us in
[20:51] THISPARTYISNSFW: Hahahaha
[20:51] THISPARTYISNSFW: And all of a sudden we’re Co-Professors to a class of 300 students.
[20:51] THISPARTYISNSFW: 75% chicks.
[20:52] THISPARTYISNSFW: 50% of that are blonde.
[20:52] THISPARTYISNSFW: 50% are brunette.
[20:52] THISPARTYISNSFW: 100% are hot.
[20:52] THISPARTYISNSFW: 60% would be described as beautiful.
[20:52] gochrisuniverse: that’s the best class breakdown ever
[20:52] THISPARTYISNSFW: 45% would be described as sexy.
[20:52] gochrisuniverse: 65% want to fuck us
[20:53] gochrisuniverse: 35% of those want to fuck us both
[20:53] THISPARTYISNSFW: 100% want to marry us.
[20:53] gochrisuniverse: 100% of those want us to eiffel them after we give the lecture
[20:53] THISPARTYISNSFW: We allow 315 students into the class.
[20:53] THISPARTYISNSFW: Because we’re down with 105%.
[20:53] gochrisuniverse: hahaha
[20:54] gochrisuniverse: we’ll break down 80s lyrics
[20:54] gochrisuniverse: like classic literature
[20:54] THISPARTYISNSFW: We’ll teach the guys in the class how to contemplate thoroughly, and we’ll teach the girls how to give that supportive gaze.
[20:55] THISPARTYISNSFW: Discovery will approach us with a deal for a reality show.
[20:55] THISPARTYISNSFW: We’ll turn them down.
[20:55] THISPARTYISNSFW: We’ll publish a book and a documentary instead.
[20:55] THISPARTYISNSFW: Because reality is cheap.
[20:56] gochrisuniverse: reality is the arch nemesis of sunsets
[20:56] THISPARTYISNSFW: Every class starts with a projection of a slideshow of sunsets.
[20:56] THISPARTYISNSFW: One for every time zone.
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: POP QUIZ, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: everyone’s all, “awwwwwwwwwuuuuhhhhhhhhhh”
[20:57] THISPARTYISNSFW: “POP QUIZ, PENCILS OUT.”
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: WHAT YOU HAVE BEFORE YOU IS A SERIES OF SUNSETS
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: ONE FOR EACH TIME ZONE
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: EACH IN A MAJOR WORLD METROPOLIS
[20:58] THISPARTYISNSFW: “I WANT A ONE PAGE ANALYSIS ON THE SUNSET THAT STRIKES YOU THE MOST.”
[20:58] THISPARTYISNSFW: “WHAT AND HOW IT MAKES YOU FEEL. WHAT IT MAKES YOU THINK OF.”
[20:59] THISPARTYISNSFW: “YOU HAVE UNTIL THE END OF THE HOUR TO COMPLETE THIS ASSIGNMENT.”
[20:59] THISPARTYISNSFW: “GO AHEAD AND BEGIN.”
[20:59] gochrisuniverse: “EXTRA CREDIT TO THE SCHOLAR WHO CAN TELL ME THE COLOR OF THE ONE-PIECE WORN BY THE ASPIRING SUPER MODEL OUT OF FRAME. AND SHOOOOOOOOW YOUR WORK!”
[21:00] THISPARTYISNSFW: A dude walks up to our desk 15 minutes later.
[21:00] THISPARTYISNSFW: He’s wearing a suit jacket with the sleeves rolled up.
[21:00] THISPARTYISNSFW: The shirt underneath is teal.
[21:00] THISPARTYISNSFW: We’re sitting at our desks that face each other, and are at a 90° angle to the rest of the class.
[21:01] gochrisuniverse: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I HAD IN MIND!
[21:01] THISPARTYISNSFW: My feet are up, I’ve got one hand behind my head, and I’m sipping coffee out of a pure white mug.
[21:01] gochrisuniverse: i’m on my desk
[21:01] gochrisuniverse: in that quintessential position
[21:01] gochrisuniverse: one knee up
[21:01] gochrisuniverse: back against the chalk board
[21:02] THISPARTYISNSFW: You’re listening to a Walkman.
[21:02] THISPARTYISNSFW: It’s playing a In the Air Tonight.
[21:03] THISPARTYISNSFW: You can hear it faintly.
[21:03] THISPARTYISNSFW: I look up from my mug, and your attention is turned to the student standing at the desk.
[21:03] THISPARTYISNSFW: He drops his paper in front of me.
[21:03] THISPARTYISNSFW: I take a look at it and I smirk.
[21:03] THISPARTYISNSFW: I show it to you.
[21:04] THISPARTYISNSFW: You lift your brow to look at him.
[21:04] THISPARTYISNSFW: Without completely lifting your head, you exclaim:
[21:04] THISPARTYISNSFW: “LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I’D LIKE YOU TO ALL LOOK UP HERE, PLEASE.”
[21:05] THISPARTYISNSFW: “TAKE A LOOK AT MR. DAVIDSON HERE. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MAN JUST TURNED IN FOR THIS ASSIGNMENT?”
[21:05] THISPARTYISNSFW: I chime in:
[21:05] THISPARTYISNSFW: “AN ILLUSTRATION OF SUNGLASSES.”
[21:06] THISPARTYISNSFW: “THIS MAN, HE GETS IT. YOU SHOULD ALL BE GETTING YOUR NOTES FROM HIM.”
[21:06] THISPARTYISNSFW: I hand his paper back to him.
[21:06] THISPARTYISNSFW: I stand very close, and without looking him in the eye, I say, “Congratulations, Mr. Davidson. You are this course’s first S.”
[21:07] THISPARTYISNSFW: We both put our sunglasses on and exit the room.
[21:07] THISPARTYISNSFW: The students are blown away.
[21:07] THISPARTYISNSFW: Later on that evening we’re contacted by the Nobel Prize Committee.
[21:08] gochrisuniverse: while we were at club sunsets
[21:08] THISPARTYISNSFW: We’ve been nominated and selected as winners.
[21:08] gochrisuniverse: after one weeks worth of class
[21:08] THISPARTYISNSFW: For bringing contemplation to the population.