Throwin’ down the gauntlet
44 hours a day
Straight up racist
The audacity of that continent
Does the Pope shit in the woods?
Perfectly summed
Just throwing that out there
gochrisuniverse (7:20:12 PM): man, dawg
gochrisuniverse (7:20:16 PM): she’s got a fuckin’ kid
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:20:24 PM): lmao
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:20:32 PM): is it just me
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:20:41 PM): or does that instantly make her less attractive?
gochrisuniverse (7:20:49 PM): way less
gochrisuniverse (7:21:07 PM): that shit aint tight
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:21:13 PM): the whole milf thing doesn’t really kick in until like age 35
gochrisuniverse (7:21:22 PM): yeah dude
gochrisuniverse (7:21:34 PM): prior to that, you’re just a fuckin’ shitty human being
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:21:41 PM): basically
gochrisuniverse (7:21:53 PM): you’re just a misfit if you have a kid pre-35
gochrisuniverse (7:22:00 PM): 25, i should say
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:22:03 PM): yeah basically
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:22:08 PM): 25-35 it’s whatever
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:22:50 PM): the whole idea of fucking someone’s mom isn’t really all that enticing until they’re old enough to understand that you’re defiling their mother.
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:23:05 PM): just throwing that out there.
Some other-worldly shit
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:16:44 AM): Sometimes shit can be painful, man.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:17:04 AM): One time when I was a little kid on the way home from some deep ass family party with my parents I had to take this shit, right.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:17:11 AM): It was a massive rock monster.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:17:17 AM): Some other-worldly shit.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:17:21 AM): A golem.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:17:53 AM): And we’re like 10 miles from home and I’m like, “DAD PLEASE—DAD PLEASE PULL OVER I HAVE TO POO SO BAD.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:18:15 AM): My dad’s like, “Just chill and hold it. We’re like ten minutes away from home.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:18:38 AM): And I’m like, “NO, NO, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO GIVE BIRTH NOW.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:18:55 AM): And my mom is just like, “You do not know what it’s like to give birth.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:19:29 AM): And I have to cuddle up in the fetal position in the back seat cause I’m about to shit out Stone Henge.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:20:10 AM): And when we get home I gotta take laxative cause I had been eating too much meat and my shit was for real just like, “Yeah, yall gotta soften me up.”
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:20:21 AM): I will probably never forget that day for as long as I live.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:21:02 AM): What kinda sucks is that story is seriously not embellished one bit.
THISPARTYISNSFW (3:21:11 AM): That’s about as close to the truth as fucking video footage.
White with cocaine
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (10:18:16 AM): I run this shit.
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (10:18:57 AM): These streets run white with cocaine
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (10:19:01 AM): now they’re gonna run red
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (10:19:05 AM): with your blood.
Bolt-action rifle
[10:19] gochrisuniverse: “so how’s singapore? do anything crazy and fun?”
[10:19] gochrisuniverse: “why aren’t you out doing crazy and fun stuff?”
[10:19] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: you go to the district one dares not go to?
[10:20] gochrisuniverse: hahaha, nah
[10:20] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: hahaha
[10:20] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: get that digginyamouf
[10:20] gochrisuniverse: hahahah like a dentist
[10:20] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: BOOMSHAKALAKA
[10:20] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: all in ya mouffff
[10:20] gochrisuniverse: YO MOUF
[10:20] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: hahahaha
[10:20] gochrisuniverse: BOW
[10:20] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: haha
[10:20] gochrisuniverse: but it’s like
[10:20] gochrisuniverse: nah, i’m not doing anything crazy
[10:21] gochrisuniverse: ’cause there isn’t really crazy shit to do
[10:21] gochrisuniverse: even more so when you’re here fairly often
[10:21] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: you’re there for what, 4 days or so?
[10:21] gochrisuniverse: monday
[10:21] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: just get fucked up every night
[10:21] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: pretty simple
[10:21] gochrisuniverse: yeah, i guess
[10:21] gochrisuniverse: but they expect me to go game-hunting or something
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: HAHA
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: i just pictured you in soem fucking safari outfit or some shit
[10:22] gochrisuniverse: hahahaha
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: fuckin’ monocle
[10:22] gochrisuniverse: with those big ol’ hips
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: bolt-action rifle on your shoulder
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: yep
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: a fuckin’ pipe
[10:22] gochrisuniverse: “well i say, i fear i’ve spotted a bangle tiger off into the distance. shall we say, 32 yards?”
[10:22] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: HAHAHA
Rex Nguyen
[07:56] soyezsilencieux: are you azn?
[07:56] gochrisuniverse: nope
[07:56] soyezsilencieux: nevermind
[07:56] gochrisuniverse: lol, why?
[07:57] soyezsilencieux: im writing a blog on the styles of “game” that each specific race of guy has
[07:57] soyezsilencieux: hahaahha
[07:57] soyezsilencieux: and ims tumped on AZN guys
[07:57] gochrisuniverse: hahaha
[07:57] gochrisuniverse: they like to impress chicks with their dance moves
[07:57] gochrisuniverse: that’s why when they’re just standing around, having conversations
[07:57] gochrisuniverse: they act like they’re practicing dance moves for their hip hop dance team
[07:58] soyezsilencieux: hahahhahaha!
[07:58] gochrisuniverse: and it’s like, dude
[07:58] gochrisuniverse: why are you dancing?
[07:58] soyezsilencieux: ABDC
[07:58] gochrisuniverse: “i’m trying out for ABDC ^_^_^_^_^_^YYYYYY”
[08:05] soyezsilencieux: hahahahaahahhh
[08:07] gochrisuniverse: like, go fuck yourself, you dance appreciation faggot
[08:07] gochrisuniverse: why is your name rex?
[08:07] gochrisuniverse: that’s not a real fucking name
[08:07] gochrisuniverse: rex nguyen
[08:07] soyezsilencieux: LOL
[08:07] soyezsilencieux: “rex nguyen”
[08:07] gochrisuniverse: only asians be havin’ corny ass names like that
[08:07] gochrisuniverse: “hope tran”
[08:08] gochrisuniverse: gtfo
Dick in a bear-trap
[08:37] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: i had a pretty ethereal experience before
[08:38] gochrisuniverse: mm?
[08:38] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: yeah
[08:38] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: it was during sunset, i was feeling kind of shitty
[08:38] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: and i closed my eyes, and just kind of envisioned sitting on top of a mountain overlooking winding hills
[08:38] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: and all was well
[08:39] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: then I opened my eyes and I was still in albany so I snapped my dick in a beartrap
More Nagel than you
Not meant to be twisted
That’s so fucking Raven
An asymmetrical hair cut
1988 Draft of Life
No u
Earned Fuck Average
[20:54] gochrisuniverse: you playin’ 2k10 huh?
[20:56] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: yep
[20:56] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: explain to me how i have a 2.06 era but a 3-3 record?
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: what if prostitution was our national past-time?
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: bitches havin’ an earned fuck average
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: on the back of a card
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: spread eagle on the front
[20:57] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: hahaha
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: all-star edition
[20:57] gochrisuniverse: holographic
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: with a piece of bubble gum in the pack
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: ayo ian
[20:58] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: ?
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: i’ll trade you this rookie season daisy duke for your ‘83 all-star holograph ms sunshine card
[20:58] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: no way
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: aw man
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: c’mon!
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: that’s a steal
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: i’ll throw in
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: okay
[20:58] gochrisuniverse: i’ll throw in
[20:59] gochrisuniverse: 2 veronica taylor cards from when she was with Pimpin’ C
[20:59] gochrisuniverse: those were her glory days, man
[20:59] gochrisuniverse: that’s such a catch
[20:59] gochrisuniverse: 3 for 1
[20:59] gochrisuniverse: wudduyasay?
[20:59] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: i’d say you’re tryin’ to rip me off
[20:59] gochrisuniverse: nah man!
[20:59] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: I’d say
[21:00] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: you have to throw in your Mz. Heatnips ‘73 rookie card to make that deal official
[21:02] gochrisuniverse: okay, okay. but if i throw in ‘73 nips, you gotta’ toss in that record-blowjob season, ‘82 tugboat tammy
[21:02] gochrisuniverse: she wasn’t even hot, dude
[21:02] gochrisuniverse: she was always 3rd string
[21:02] gochrisuniverse: but it evens out the deal
[21:02] gochrisuniverse: you know this
[21:02] FIXATEDONPLASTIC: okay fine but you gotta throw in your lebron james rookie card.
You better call Tyrone
I’m a fuckin doctor
Legitimately retarded
OH MY GAWD WE’RE BACK AGAIN
[16:30] THISPARTYISNSFW: So basically
[16:31] THISPARTYISNSFW: I installed Google Analytics in my asshole.
[16:31] THISPARTYISNSFW: According to these numbers, I have shit more times in this last week than in any two months in 2009 combined.
HERP DERP
Ode to Kristen Bell
The things I would do to you.
You have no idea.
put a baby in that ass
let me see that smile
forgetting sarah marshall
you can thank kristen
i would have let her do it
then do mila, dawg
Renowned cocaine connoisseur
My father’s father
Neh neh neh I wath juth
Vegeta and Napa go to Old Navy
Fuck everything
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:13:11 PM): ahem
Ode to Greene
good thing you did twilight, dawg
i’m going to take half
Twilight is fucking gay, dawg
But I would wreck that.
she’s shotgun in my countach
contemplate that shit
WHIPPED OUT THE JAMMIE
PEACEBITCH
We’re fucking ruthless
We don’t have to be shit
OK, we have to be friends now. This is toooo funny!
Write me back soon!
-Tess“
Drop it low, bitch
Captain Pinbacker
I’m fuckin ruthless
OH NAW
Certified Beautiful
SO DON'T BE A HERO!
gochrisuniverse (12:37:59 AM): DEAR FUCKING DIARY
gochrisuniverse (12:38:00 AM): DAY 3
gochrisuniverse (12:38:02 AM): LOSING MOMENTUM
gochrisuniverse (12:38:07 AM): LOVE, CHRIS
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:07 AM): We will make MMX the shit.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:11 AM): We will make it.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:15 AM): By force, if we have to.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:19 AM): [cocks gun]
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:48 AM): I need MMX to know that we don’t want to hurt it, and that we won’t have to if it does what we tell it to do.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:52 AM): EYES DOWN!
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:38:57 AM): EYES FUCKING DOWN!
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:39:07 AM): DON’T TRY TO BE A HERO, JANUARY.
gochrisuniverse (12:39:19 AM): JANUARY, YOU GOT KIDS?
gochrisuniverse (12:39:23 AM): YOU GOT A WIFE?
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:39:27 AM): JANUARY.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:39:31 AM): WE’RE FUCKING TALKING TO YOU.
gochrisuniverse (12:39:44 AM): LOOK AT ME, JANUARY!
gochrisuniverse (12:39:48 AM): EYES FUCKING DOWN!
gochrisuniverse (12:39:52 AM): DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME!
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:40:11 AM): MR. C, SHOW HIM HOW MUCH WE DON’T LIKE HEROES.
gochrisuniverse (12:40:35 AM): *smashes january’s face with the butt of his shotgun*
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:40:43 AM): You see, Jan?
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:40:51 AM): You see what happens when you don’t listen?
gochrisuniverse (12:40:54 AM): I DIDN’T WANT TO DO THAT, JANUARY
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:41:13 AM): Mr. C here has to introduce you to his friend over there.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:41:28 AM): And his friend is very temperamental.
THISPARTYISNSFW (12:41:57 AM): Now be good and PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS BEHIND YOUR FUCKING HEAD AND PUT THAT FUCKING HEAD ON THE GODDAMNFLOOR.
gochrisuniverse (12:42:06 AM): NOW!
gochrisuniverse (12:42:11 AM): AND FOR THE REST OF YOU FUCKING MONTHS,
gochrisuniverse (12:42:23 AM): WE DON’T WANT YOUR AWESOME, WE WANT THE YEARS AWESOME.
gochrisuniverse (12:42:34 AM): YOUR AWESOME IS INSURED BY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AND THE FDIC!
gochrisuniverse (12:42:41 AM): SO DON’T. BE. A. HERO!
EST+5:00
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:49:55 PM): joe’s gonna’ be mad
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:50:01 PM): that i’m posting so many posts in a row
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:50:05 PM): lmao
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:51:11 PM): i’m saving them for tomorrow
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:51:13 PM): lol
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:51:27 PM): it’s tomorrow right now
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:51:54 PM): yeah, there
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:52:11 PM): i’ve told you before
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:52:19 PM): the only timezone that exists is GMT-5:00
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:52:35 PM): gmt doesn’t even exist.
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:52:48 PM): gmt is really just EST+5:00
Inherent danger
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:49:10 PM): who knew there was a fucking inherent danger to being this comprehensive?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:49:23 PM): there’s danger in everything, dawg
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:49:28 PM): i mean
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:49:31 PM): sunsets themselves
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:49:34 PM): coke is no toy.
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:49:40 PM): neither are ferraris.
Almost too contemplative
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:02 PM): fucking
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:09 PM): the official video for enjoy the silence
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:13 PM): the beginning is so sick
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:41:17 PM): hahaha i know
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:17 PM): the extended beginning
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:40 PM): one of the downsides to contemplating is that sometimes
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:44 PM): it can just be depressing
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:47 PM): like
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:53 PM): the first 20 seconds of that video
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:56 PM): you’re contemplating
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:41:58 PM): they’re contemplating
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:00 PM): the black and white
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:02 PM): the roses
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:06 PM): it’s heavy shit
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:10 PM): it’s a heavy burden to take on
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:16 PM): that’s why not so many can handle that kinda’ heat
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:42:19 PM): like i told you
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:42:24 PM): that video makes me want to kill myself
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:32 PM): it really does
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:42:34 PM): it’s almost too contemplative
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:42:43 PM): if there ever were such a thing
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:42:50 PM): indeed
That's romantic
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:14:22 PM): who THE FUCK walks in the rain?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:09 PM): idiots
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:17 PM): i hate walking in the rain, man
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:20 PM): shit isn’t romantic
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:22 PM): it’s just stupid
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:26 PM): you know what’s romantic?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:28 PM): walking on the beach
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:30 PM): during a sunset.
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:32 PM): that’s romantic.
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:16:40 PM): that gets me a boner just thinkin’ about it
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (11:16:45 PM): hell, it’s romantic all alone
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (11:16:51 PM): i know.
Bunk ass Chris ass Universe
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:08:12 PM): what?
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:08:18 PM): look at the post
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:08:24 PM): huge takes up another one of my lines
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:08:31 PM): oh, hahahahahaha
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:08:47 PM): your fucked up gold fucked up my code, dawg
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:08:54 PM): lol
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:09:01 PM): your code is bunk dawg
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:09:07 PM): your fucking gold is bunk
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:09:15 PM): you’re bunk
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (8:09:16 PM): bunk ass gold ass shit
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (8:09:27 PM): bunk ass chris ass universe
Pumpkin head lookin' baby
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:50:11 PM): and fat
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:50:19 PM): babies just be havin’ ROLLS
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:50:18 PM): that is not cute
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:50:24 PM): that baby’s fuckin’ head is HUGE
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:50:46 PM): fake ass lookin’ baby
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:50:54 PM): lookin’ like a doll
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:50:59 PM): that baby looks fuckin’ fake
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:04 PM): fuckin’ big headed fake ass baby
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:13 PM): i bet you that motherfucker is like 35
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:51:16 PM): hahahaha
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:20 PM): like that fuckin’ marlon wayans movie
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:22 PM): lil’ pimp
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:53 PM): dawg
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:57 PM): that baby’s head is
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:51:57 PM): HUGE
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:52:09 PM): for real.
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:52:28 PM): hahahahahaha
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:52:46 PM): fuckin’ pumpkin head lookin’ baby
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:00 PM): fuckin’ hot air balloon and shit
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:08 PM): i’m about to cut that baby’s head off
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:11 PM): and attach a basket too it
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:15 PM): and light a fire under it
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:19 PM): and float into the sunset
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:53:39 PM): man
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:53:42 PM): i was about to open an IM to you
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (7:53:46 PM): and copy and paste that shit to yourself
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:49 PM): hahahahaha
FIXATEDONPLASTIC (7:53:53 PM): that’s how dope i am
Joseph Manibusan as RDII
Conniving demon women
EclecticNative (2:57:12 AM): and i’m not down with wearing loud colors man
Leather cutlery
GOCHRISUNIVERSE (12:02:02 AM): hahaha, i picture you kicking the front door open
Weak to fucking nothing
The sun will always set
[11:21] THISPARTYISNSFW: Next thing you know I’m walking along some train tracks and all my belongings are in a handkerchief hanging from a stick.
[11:22] gochrisuniverse: dressed nice as FUCK
[11:22] gochrisuniverse: like, ayo
[11:22] gochrisuniverse: joe
[11:22] gochrisuniverse: you da bes lookin’ vagrant i know
[11:22] THISPARTYISNSFW: Baby.
[11:22] THISPARTYISNSFW: That’s cause in poverty or in wealth, the sun will always set.
I guess that bitch could ride trunk